Fat Cyclist

A Note from Fatty: I'm really pleased to announce the fabulous Banjo Brothers have joined in the Fat Cyclist Ads-for-Schwag program. Readers with long memories will recall that the Banjo Brothers were the very first company to do giveaways with my blog, and they have always given away awesome prizes. Today, they're continuing that tradition by putting up a great Commuter Backpack -- $79.99 value -- for me to give away. Read on to find out how.

How you react when your mountain bike breaks in the middle of the ride changes the way you think. You see everything differently. Gum, rocks, candy bar wrappers, sticks, and rubber bands become valuable tools. If you manage to salvage a ride using stuff that was never meant to be part of a bike, you feel pride, and justifiably so. There's a rough beauty, after all, to an innovative bike field repair.

I've seen some great field repairs in my time. Here are the ones I can remember right this moment.

To read the rest of this post and enter the contest. click here to go to fatcyclist.com.

Several Very Helpful Fat Cyclist Readers (VHFCRs, as I like to think of you) recently forwarded me an interesting tidbit of information: Lance Armstrong intends to race the Leadville 100 next year. Says Armstrong at the opening of his eponymous fitness center in Austin, TX (and no, this is not Fake News):

"The other bit of a challenge I want to do is a bit crazy. It's a mountain bike race in August held in Colorado called the Leadville 100. It's about an 8 to 9 hour mountain bike race, mostly on single track that very few people do and even fewer finish.”

Upon reading this, I of course had a complex series of thoughts, including:

1. "Oh boy! I'm going to meet Lance Armstrong!"
2. "I'd better make sure I'm wearing a LiveStrong band in Leadville that week."
3. "I wonder if the race organizers will make him submit an application and wait for the lottery results, just like everyone else. Wouldn't that be wild if he didn't get in?"
4. "If he really trained for it, I wonder what kind of time he'd finish with? Five hours?"
5. "I wonder who told him it's mostly single track? There's no single track whatsoever in the Leadville 100. In fact, there's hardly any double track. It's almost all jeep roads."

Then, suddenly, this pleasant train of thoughts was derailed by the following question:

To read the rest of this entry, click here to go to fatcyclist.com.

I don't know how to cook many things. If, for example, you were to ask me to make Chicken Cordon Bleu, I wouldn't know what ingredients to buy. I wouldn't even know which part of the chicken to use.

That said, I am famous for making the few things I know how to make extremely well. Better than anyone else in the whole world, in fact.

Here are the things I am the very best in the world at making:

1. Mashed potatoes. Yes, I know a lot of you also think you make the best mashed potatoes in the world. Which might be true if I didn't have an actual certificate stating that I make the best mashed potatoes in the world.
2. The best cake in the world: Actually, I'm no better at making this than anyone else. This cake is superlative in its own right.
3. Chili: I have an honest-to-goodness, bona-fide secret ingredient I use in my chili. Nobody has ever identified it, but everyone agrees that my chili is better than everyone else's. Oh, also I sometimes make fry bread to go with the chili. I have received several marriage proposals based solely on my fry bread and chili.
4. Hamburgers: There is nothing secret or fancy about the way I make hamburgers. I just use top-quality beef, add more worcestershire sauce than most people think you should (hint: you've used enough when it actually changes the color of the burger), knead, and grill over charcoal. The reason my burgers are the best in the world, evidently, is because I am apparently the last person in the world to grill with charcoal. I'll tell you what, though: when gas-grillers eat my burgers, they see (however briefly) the error of their ways.
5. Kitchen Sink Quiche: I call it "Kitchen Sink Quiche" because I put so much stuff into it, there's hardly any room for the eggs: cheese, peppers, bacon, grilled chicken, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, avocado, and anything else that strikes my fancy in the produce aisle. And yes, I've heard the "real men don't eat quiche" line. To which I respond, "By all means, feel free to not to have any." But everyone tries a bite, and then they apologize. Kitchen Sink Quiche is best with Cholula hot sauce.
6. Banana Cream Parfait: This is the most difficult thing I make, and it's the subject of my post today: endurance dessert-making.

To read the rest of today's post, please click here to go to fatcyclist.com.

I recently had a completely new (at least for me) experience: I wore out a helmet. Or at least I think I wore it out: there’s a crack in the front of my trusty white Giro Atmos that I can’t account for. The helmet’s four years old, so I’m just putting this crack down to accumulated wear and tear.

So how is this new? Well, it’s the first time I’ve ever replaced a helmet before catastrophically destroying it through the medium of an epic crash. In other words, I’ve finally had a helmet die of old age.

Who would have even thought such a thing possible?

So lately I’ve been doing some helmet shopping, during which I have thought a lot—too much, perhaps—about helmets. Here are some of my random helmet-related observations.

To read the rest of this article, please click here to go to www.fatcyclist.com.