1. The Fat Cyclist skipped both breakfast and lunch today because he had Very Important Deadlines to meet at work.
2. When the Fat Cyclist gets stressed, he likes to graze, and usually not on healthy things.
3. At the company where the Fat Cyclist works, there is a tradition that on the anniversary of your hire date, you are to bring in M&Ms in the equivalent number of pounds for how many years you have worked at the company.
4. The person 3 doors down from the Fat Cyclist is celebrating her 14-Year anniversary at the company today, creating an evidently never-ending supply of easily-accessible free chocolate.
5. ????

Was that too easy? Here's another:

1. The Fat Cyclist comes from a long line of talented improvisational cooks. Ie, his mother is able to create something good to eat no matter what is in the pantry. So is his grandma. So is he.
2. The Fat Cyclist's 9-yr-old son seems to have inherited this knack.
3. Seeking to develop this skill, the Fat Cyclist's son checked a cookbook for kids out of the library yesterday.
4. Last night, the 9-yr-old made parmesan popcorn -- basically, popcorn sprinkled with butter and then shaken with parmesan cheese.
5. The 9-yr-old does not care for the popcorn he has made and does not eat it.
6. The Fat Cyclist likes parmesan cheese. And he likes popcorn. And he really likes butter.
7. ????

Gee, I wonder what my weight will be tomorrow.

Today's Weight: 172.8

Bonus Weight-Obsessed-Cyclist Bloggage:  Terry Heatlie explains why weight matters so much to cyclists. I had to read this verrrrrry slowly to understand it (and had to read some parts twice), but found it really cool that someone has gone to the trouble to figure out -- and more importantly, explain -- what's going on when a cyclist climbs a hill, and why weight matters so much.

1. Get down to 160 pounds -- a 28.8lb loss in ~3 months
2. Come up with a training schedule that wouldn't turn me into a Bad Father and Husband. Ie, a couple of major illnesses and so forth have tweaked my priorities; if I have to choose between being fat and absent, I'll be fat.
3. Start writing on a daily basis, to see whether I still have a sense of humor.
4. Finish the Leadville 100 in under 10 hours. This would be an hour improvement over the previous year, though by no means my fastest time ever. (That's my goal for next year.)

Where I am

Half the time's gone. Where do I stand?

• I've lost half the weight -- I'm right around 173. I keep congratulating myself. Then I remind myself that the second half of a weight loss effort is always much more difficult. I've only lost the easy weight so far.
• I've got a semi-chaotic training program. Basically, I try to go on a longish ride (40 miles) each morning, eventually winding up at work, then ride the shortest route home (10 miles) at the end of the day. In reality, though, I only get out on that longish ride once or twice per week. The twins are potty training right now, and so our nights are usually interrupted a couple of times with bedsheet changes and/or pre-emptive wake-ups to get the girls to use the bathroom. One of the girls is totally done with training and never makes mistakes anymore; the other has a ways to go. So by morning, sometimes I'd rather have another 1.5 hours of sleep than go for a long ride, or sometimes my wife needs me to take care of the kids so she can catch up on her sleep. And that's fine. No matter what, I'm getting at least 20 miles (shortest possible commute) on the bike each day.
• I've written at least 5 blog entries I'm proud of. That's 5 good things I wouldn't have otherwise written. Also, this has confirmed to me that I need to get my career back onto a text-based track sometime this year.

What will August 13 be like for me?

Now it's time to prognosticate.

• Projected starting line weight: I still think it's possible for me to get to 160. I'm sticking to that.
• Projected finishing time. This is where it gets interesting to me, and probably really boring for everyone else. Here's what I project, and why.
• I started the race last year weighing 173lbs (which is what I weigh right now, but that's not relevant).
• I finished the race last year in 10:56.
• I've reliably demonstrated that there's a tight correlation between my weight and my finishing time at this race -- which makes sense, since there's around 12,000 feet of climbing involved. That correlation is: for every 1 non-contributing pound (eg, fat) shed, you can subtract 5 minutes from your finishing time.
• 13 pounds lighter * 5 minutes/lb = 65 minutes faster = 9:49 finishing time.
• I'm going to set a stretch goal of 9:40. See if I can find another nine minutes in there.

And how about next year?

Lose another ten pounds and actually train -- as opposed to just ride a bunch -- then finish in under 9 hours. Hey, a man can dream, can't he?

Today's weight: 172.4. I've found that if I eat a grapefruit around 10pm I'm better able to withstand the "grazing craving." I don't know why grapefruit is working so well for me -- maybe it's because it takes a while to prepare and eat, which helps me avoid the Cascading Snarf effect. And if you don't know what I mean by a Cascading Snarf effect, you probably don't have any weight issues in the first place, in which case I hate you.

Bonus Cool Butterfly Effect:  Back in the 90's, I worked at Novell, where I wrote the company newsletter and worked on the website -- I was pretty decent at HTML and JavaScript. On a whim, I decided to learn a "serious" language, and picked up Laura Lemay's book on Java. I discovered that real programming languages aren't a lot harder to learn than scripting languages and decided to apply to Fawcette Technical Publications for the Editor in Chief position at Java Pro magazine. I didn't get that position, but they did hire me to be Editor in Chief of Visual C++ Developer Journal. Years passed, and I went from one programmer's magazine to another, 'til I eventually wound up here at Microsoft Learning -- the Developer Audience Product Manager. I've thought a number of times that I wish I could pay back Lemay for writing a book that helped me make a career jump. Then yesterday, I notice that she blogged my "Open Letter to..." posts, mentioning that it's "funny stuff." So have I karmically paid her back? Hardly, but I'm glad she enjoyed them. 

Bonus Horrible Roadkill: I saw an owl roadkill today. Somehow, that was more awful than seeing a regular bird.

• You fabricate reasons for why you shouldn't check your weight.
• You are gaining weight at approximately the rate you should be losing it.
• You start thinking of the diet as an enemy, and have an eating binge simply to spite that enemy.
• You have an ongoing weekly weight-loss sweepstakes, and miss the goal weight by five pounds.

Clearly, last week was a massive failure. I've got all kinds of reasons why I gained weight instead of losing it -- work stress, inability to train because I was helping at Boy Scout camp, uniformly fattening food at said camp -- but none of them are valid. First comment w/ email address gets a $100 amazon.com gift certificate, and the Sweepstakes jackpot gets reset to $25. Pffffff.

Today's Weight: 177.4. And it's raining so hard I couldn't bike to work today. Nice.

Dear Champion SuperMarket Chain,

Yesterday, I got my Guide to the Tour, a supplement to Velonews magazine. I'm pretty sure this guide is simply a translated version of the Tour Guide published in France, ads and all.

Champion, I am pleased that you are supporting the Tour, and pleased that you are the Official Supermarket of the Tour de France. Alas, since I don't live in France, your ad never had a chance of getting me to buy anything, so you may want to reconsider how you spend your ad dollars next year. Still, If I ever go to France, now I know where to get my official Tour groceries, and that's something. I guess.

That said, Champion, I feel I must tell you that your full-page ad (attached at the bottom of this blog entry; a larger version can be seen at my personal website) in this guide has creeped me out unlike any ad I have seen in recent memory. I submit the following reasons for why:

• The adult male appears to have had a frontal lobotomy. He's looking into space and has a slack-jawed, lopsided grin. I'm confident the only reason we don't see drool is because it has been photoshopped out. He does not make me want to buy groceries.
• The adult female is wearing the strangest baseball cap I have ever seen. No, calling it a baseball cap is inappropriate, for it is clearly a spotted turban with a bill. Also, the expression on her face leads me to believe she is screaming for vengeance, which I believe is the main reason the cyclist looks so scared. She does not make me want to buy groceries, but she does make me want to buy life insurance.
• The female child being held by the adult female is, I believe, a witch. Her concentrated expression and the way she is making a hand gesture while looking directly into the eyes of the (again, terrified) cyclist leads me to believe she is the instrument that will effect the vengeance her mother wants so badly. Also, the sleeve of her t-shirt puffs out as if it were inflatable. Perhaps this is a flotation function prepared against the likelihood of angry villagers trying to drown her?
• The cyclist has the largest, most terrified eyes I have ever seen. He knows these people want him dead, and probably also realizes his bike is tilted so far up and to the left that there is no way he will not keel over onto his side. His terror is so great that he has forgotten to be embarassed by the fact that he's tucked his jersey into his shorts.
• The leftmost male child looks wistful, perhaps because he knows that his sister is placing a pox on the cyclist.
• The rightmost male child is the only person in this photo who looks like he's actually cheering at a cycling event. However, due to his position, orientation, and where he's looking, he's clearly not cheering at this cycling event. I notice, furthermore, that his left sleeve is big and puffy, in a manner similar to the way his sister's puffs. I do not believe this child is a witch, so am now reconsidering the t-shirt-as-an-emergency-flotation-device theory. I now, instead, believe that this is how French children carry their cigarettes.
• The smallest male...child?...dwarf?...mannequin?...undead zombie?...is the real crux of the problem with this ad. His head is massive, and looks 40 years old. It is also expressionless. Like most of his siblings, he's evidently got either a life vest on under his t-shirt, or lots and lots of cigarettes rolled up under the short sleeves. This person makes me want to avoid your supermarket at all costs. In fact, he makes me afraid to go outside at all.

Champion, please believe me when I say that every single person in the United States would be better at producing ads for your supermarket than what you've got here. Give one of us a call; we'd be happy to help.

Kind Regards,

The Fat Cyclist

PS: Today's Weight: 175.8. I gained 1.2 pounds yesterday? I just don't get it.

Yesterday, I was all effusive about Summer Solstice and how nice it was to be able to ride to work in shorts and short sleeves. So of course I was rewarded with a rainy commute home, and what looks like a storm brewing on the way in today. Not to mention the fact that it's once again cold enough that I had to wear tights and a long sleeve jersey on the way in.

Grrrr.

Still, the weather was decent enough that I got up early and had a good ride before heading out to work. Issaquah / Fall City Road is my new favorite road in the whole world.

Here, Have Another Eclair

Yesterday, my manager at work (hi, Matt!) said he's interested in getting a road bike. So for lunch, we went to the closest bike shop and looked around. Amazing what you can get for <$600 now. Then he said he'd buy me lunch at a Malaysian restaraunt as a birthday present. Mmmm, chicken curry. Afterward, fat and happy, I felt like I was ready for a nice little nap.

Then, when I got home last night, my nine-year-old son had out pretzels and Cool Whip. Now, before you wrinkle up your nose, please consider that dipping pretzels into Cool Whip is a brilliant and simple study in complementary foods:

• Pretzels are salty, Cool Whip is sweet
• Pretzels are crunchy and rough, Cool Whip is fluffy and smooth
• Pretzels are room temperature, Cool Whip is...well...cool
• Pretzels are a baked simple carbohydrate, Cool Whip is a completely synthetic mix of chemicals not found in nature, which manages, ironically, to be colored as pure as the driven snow. How many food coloring additives do you suppose it takes to make something pure white?

These complementing contrasts underscore and augment each other, making for an irresistable taste treat that the whole family can enjoy. How could I not eat a half bag of pretzels and half tub of Cool Whip? I guess we'll never know, because I did.

And that's when it hit me: people I know -- my manager, my son -- are trying to sabotage my weight loss efforts, in a transparent and nefarious plot to collect on the Fat Cyclist Sweepstakes! Well, now I'm on to your little plot, and I will defeat you! After I have a few more of those pretzels with Cool Whip.

All of which leads up to...

Today's Weight: 174.6. I'm headed back in the right direction, but I have to be vigilant. Obviously, there are ne'er-do-wells who would love to see me fail.

You get far enough North, and Summer Solstice (the lightest day of the year) really means something. Mainly, it means that it's light before 5 am, and doesn't get really dark 'til around 10.

And, finally, today it was warm enough -- even at 7am -- to go riding in shorts and a short-sleeve jersey. Only those who bike commute every day can appreciate what this means: I didn't have to wear my cold-weather bike clothes for the ride in while packing my warm-weather bike clothes for the ride home. As a bonus, it's now warm enough that I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt to work, which further reduces messenger bag bulk -- it felt practically empty for my ride in today.

In short (and for once, today's entry will be short, because I'm on deadline) between me being a few pounds lighter, my messenger bag being a few pounds lighter, and not having the extra bulk/constraint of tights and a long sleeve jersey, I felt like I flew up the hills on this morning's ride, and motored on the flats at what seemed like double my usual rate (but was probably more like 1 - 1.5mph faster).

Today's weight: 174.8. No big surprise to the weight gain here. I was stupid-dehydrated for the weigh-in yesterday so I could make weight. Plus, I pigged out on pizza last night. 'Course, I'm now in the scary position of needing to lose ~3lbs by next Monday. Please pass the grapefruit and lemon-water (thanks to Matt Chester for the lemon-water tip; worked like a charm)....

Nick and I rode from my house to Tiger Mountain via Snoqualmie Falls on Saturday morning, a great little 42-mile ride with quite a few good climbs. I have learned a few things:

• I am an idiot. We stopped at Snoqualmie Falls, where we took pictures with our camera phones. Moments ago, thinking I had successfully uploaded those photos to my computer, I deleted them from my camera. It's a shame I didn't check to make sure the transfer went well, though, because it didn't. Those photos are gone, daddy, gone. Q. What's worse than a fat gadget geek cyclist? A. A fat gadget geek cyclist who doesn't know what he's doing.
• I am not the only idiot. Part of the ride we were on overlapped the Flying Wheels Summer Century the Cascade Bicycle Club puts on each year. As we continued on, though, we kept seeing riders who had evidently missed the (very obvious) course markers and were now trying to reconnect. One guy in particular seemed in bad shape -- he was on a tricked out time trialist bike, but, even though he had only gone 25 miles, was completely whipped. And he was 10 miles off course. And he was furious at the event organizers. Which made me think: any time you have open registration for a popular event, you're bound to have a few people who are unable to follow course markings, no matter how clearly placed. And some of those people will be unable to take responsibility for their mistake. This epiphany led to the following Mental Note to Self: Never become a race / event organizer. This is followed by another Mental Note to Self: Always express appreciation to race / event organizers, to counteract the idiots who -- alas -- fail to realize they are, in fact, idiots.
• I learned a new term: "Dan Henry". I am lucky enough to live close to a road that borders on the rural. This road acts as an artery to a number of country roads, which are of course great for cycling events. Until Nick told me on Saturday, though, I didn't realize that the course markings -- spray painted circles with directional arrows coming out of them -- are called "Dan Henry's." Now, I've noted before that I'm tentative when it comes to exploring different roads and trails, the result of which is that I wind up doing the same ride over and over. Well, this morning I decided to follow the Dan Henry's for the Flying Wheel course -- partly out of curiousity as to whether there was justification for all the lost souls I saw on the road last Saturday, and partly to see what other roads are good for cycling near where I live. And I am so glad I did. The road took me along a number of farms, through rolling, twisting woods, through Carnation, and up Issaquah / Fall City Road, which is incredible: wooded, twisty, climby. So the 30 mile ride I meant to do this morning before work wound up being a 50-miler, and I discovered that I live in a much more beautiful area than I previously thought. Tomorrow, I think I'll follow the John Henry's for the Tour de Cure route (and I'll make sure I sign up to do these events next year, to avoid Poacher guilt). I need to get myself a map of the area and start figuring out how all these roads interconnect.

Today's Weight: 174.0. This was the most concerted weight-loss effort of my life. I'm not sure that subsisting on grapefruit and lemon-water for a weekend is really the smartest way to drop weight long-term, but I had money on the line. So now the jackpot goes to $100, and I've got to lose another 2 lbs this week, this time without resorting to drastic measures (if at all possible).

Anyone who's ever gathered at a start line knows that there's an awful lot of sly bike inspections going on. But gauging the quality of the cyclist based on what he's riding isn't limited to start lines. You can do it practically anytime -- looking at bikes on car racks and looking at bikes people are riding as you pass / are passed are two common times. Today, let's take a look at how you can quickly size up the competition, just by looking at what they ride.

• Reflectors: This is the absolutely most obvious way you can be sure someone's not serious about cycling. If he's left the reflectors on his bike, he's clearly not considering the extraordinarily deleterious (wow, I just used "deleterious" in a sentence!) effects on his speed the weight and poor aerodynamics of the reflectors will have. (
• Drivetrain: The drivetrain is a good indicator of the person's riding style:
• Shimano = all about the efficiency and reliability. 80% chance that the rider also drives a Japanese car. High likelihood that the rider will be a good tactician and a a smart rider.
• Campagnolo means the rider cares all about the history of cycling and the passion of cycling and will fly into a fit if you do not profess an undying love for Eddy Merckx. This person corners with passion. He climbs with passion. He descends with passion. He attacks with passion. And when you beat him, he will throw a raging fit.
• SRAM: This person isn't interestedd in beating you. He's interested in doing his own thing, man. If you suggest working together, he'll look at you like you're from Mars.
• Singlespeed means that he no longer cares about winning, or at least wishes to project the image that he no longer cares. He's jaded, like James Dean on a bike. OR it's possible that he is bringing enough game to the ride that he's confident he can beat you even without the benefit of technology.
• Wheels: Everyone talks about wheels as if they're the biggest factor in how fast you go. Let me tell you a secret: your wheels aren't going to make you any faster or slower. They're not going to change the quality of your ride. So, if you see that your competition is riding with very expensive wheels, don't worry about him being faster than you. Instead, just make a mental note that this person is gullible and that you'll probably be successful at selling him NuSkin products later.
• Frame: A brand-new frame says more about your opponent's income than about his ability on a bike. It could mean he's new to biking. It could mean he just nailed a sponsor. It could mean he wore his previous bike out. However, a well-worn bike says a lot about the rider. If it's well-used and well-maintained, count on a tough race. If the frame is a couple years old but still looks new, your competition is more likely riding a New Years' resolution -- one that didn't work out -- from a couple years ago. If he's riding a frame that's several years old and still in good shape, you know you're racing a lifer. If the rider looks strong, be ready for some serious competition.
• Pedals: Better to have them than not. Okay, I can see I'm running out of steam here.

Today's Weight: 176.8. Oh, this is not good. This is not good at all. I'm still going to try to hit my goal for the week, but doing this over the weekend that has both my birthday (Saturday) and Father's Day (Sunday). Which means somebody's probably going to win that Fat Cyclist Sweepstakes on Monday.

Bonus yuck: Riding to work today, I very nearly rode over a fresh frog roadkill. Thing is, it wasn't splatted/flattened. Looked like it was just asleep on the road. Big as my fist and bright green. You don't see stuff like that in Utah.

When does riding become racing? Two simple rules:

• When there are two riders: It is possible for two cyclists to ride together without it turning into a race -- but only if it has already been established that one of the two cyclists is the alpha rider.
• When there are three or more riders: If there are three or more cyclists, there will be racing -- whether it be a race to the summit, a race to the next signpost, or a race of fatigue. The race may not be aknowledged, but it is there.

Of course, before you embark upon any race, you want to understand your competition. Today, I will begin to explain how you can assess your chances against your cycling foes.

The Cyclist

• Clothes Fit: The type and tightness of the jersey and shorts give you a good indication of the relative confidence of your opponent:
• Loose fitting: If the shorts and/or jersey are loose-fitting, the cyclist has something -- ie, fat -- to hide. He knows he's not at the top of his game. Plan to destroy this cyclist on the climbs.
• Form fitting: You don't need me to tell you what this means. This is a person who has earned his physique. All you can hope for is that he earned it in the gym, not on the bike.
• Used to be form-fitting, but now looks uncomfortably tight: Oh, that's me. Don't worry, I'm no threat to you.
• Sponsor branding: This is complex. Bike clothes with sponsor branding can mean different things on different people.
• Full team kit on a guy with hairy legs: This person read a Men's Health article about the benefits of cycling a couple years ago and watched the Tour de Lance last year, whereupon he decided to "get into" cycling. He has money to spend, but no biking skills whatsoever. Toy with him, then ride away.
• Full team kit on a guy with shaved legs: Could mean trouble. He's clearly a fanboy, and cares enough about cycling that he probably rides plenty. Going to have to go to secondary clues: leg definition, evidence of a spare tire, suntan pattern, bike clues. 
• Jersey advertising a non-bike-sponsoring consumer product: This is a person who buys his jerseys at a bike store, as opposed to getting them as souvenirs for races he's done. This person does not take biking seriously enough. A few intermediate sprints should demoralize him nicely. That said, I desperately want the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup jersey advertised in the current Performance Bike Catalog. Have I mentioned that Saturday is my birthday? Size Large, please.
• Race / Event branding: This is helpful only if you know the circumstances under which the jersey can be obtained. If it's a jersey you have to buy, it means your opponent wishes he were fast, but isn't. If the jersey can only be obtained by finishing -- or worse, winning -- a race, you may have a serious race on your hands. 
• No branding whatsoever: Inscrutable. This is clearly a guy who either wants to fade into the background because he sucks (70% chance), or likes to go stealth so that you feel that much worse when he cleans your clock (30% chance). Look for secondary clues.
• Legs: Evaluate his tan, his hairiness, and his quads and calves.
• Tan = trouble. But check where the tan starts and ends. If he's tan right up to the bike shorts line but not beyond, and his quads are the tannest part of his body, you've got a real cyclist on your hands. If his forehead has a strange tanning pattern on it that suddenly makes sense when he puts on his helmet and glasses, this spells trouble with a capital T.
• Shaved legs = serious cyclist. Why do shaved legs matter? Because they mean he's made a commitment to cycling. They also mean he's vain, because the purpose of shaved legs is to increase the visibility of your leg muscle definition.
• Leg definition and size: Finally, check the size and cut of his quads and calves. If he's just cut, you can probably take him on the flats. If he's just big, you can get him on the climbs. If he's both, just try to draft.

Tomorrow: How to Size Up the Competition, Part II: The Bike

Today's weight: 176.4. Clearly, I'm in big trouble for this week's Fat Cyclist Sweepstakes. I went up today (not a lot, but still...), which is the wrong direction.

Bonus excitement: Active.com has published my review of the Suunto n6HR.

I've lived in Washington for about 1.5 years now, and there's a lot to like. I like how friendly car drivers are to me when I'm commuting to work on my bike. I like the excellent roads around my house in Sammamish. I like how beautiful and green this area is.

But the fact is, it's June 15 today, and I rode my bike to work wearing tights and a long-sleeve jersey. And I guarantee that I was not overdressed.

I hadn't thought much about how much colder it is here than in Provo, UT, until yesterday, when I took an impromptu trip out to my old home town to see my friends and go mountain biking for a day. Where it's warm. And sunny. And the question isn't whether there's great singletrack nearby, it's what flavor of great singletrack you're in the mood for.

The 7-Year-Drought Was My Fault

I lived in UT for about 10 years, seven of which were low-rain years. We were riding in the mountains in March, and were high in the mountains by late May. This makes for great fun early in the season, but by July you're riding in deep dust. One of the things I looked forward to when I moved to Washington was no longer having to worry about enough water.

And so -- of course -- Washington is now coming out of the puniest Winter ever with the likelihood of water restrictions. UT mountains still have big snowcaps left over from the massive snowpack.

I can only conclude that I am The Drought Bringer. Fear me.

The Ride that Wasn't

This (I mean the still-present snowpack, not my new status as a Drought Bringer) meant that it wouldn't be possible to do my absolute favorite mountain bike ride of all time: Tibble Fork. That's a minor shame, because I do not know of any trail in the whole world that has such an outrageously perfect combination of singletrack: killer climbs around switchbacks. Tricky moves up and over rocks, roots, and fallen logs. Perfectly-banked, rocket-fast singletrack through aspen and pine.

I swear, I get misty even thinking about it. Although, to be candid, it's probably best that I didn't get a chance to do this ride -- the last time I rode Tibble Fork, I was not a Fat Cyclist. In fact, I was a cyclist who could punish most other cyclists who tried to keep up on the climbs. It's probably best for me to remember riding that trail as the old me.

Jacob's Ladder

Another great ride we used to do is called Hog Hollow, in Alpine, UT. As we'd get to the saddle after a relentless 4-mile climb, I'd inevitably make a snarky remark about all the houses being built on the mountain and how soon enough the whole thing would be paved and we'd be doing this ride on road bikes.

Well, now Dug's gone and bought one of those houses. Which is where we started a ride from. And I have to admit, now I can see why people want to buy houses up on that mountain. The view's killer, you're away from the city, and the Jacob's Ladder portion of Hog Hollow is right out his back door.

Big Wheels

Kenny loaned me his new Fisher Paragon for this ride -- everyone else was riding singlespeeds (better give the Fat Cyclist something with a derailleur; we don't want him to die out on the trail -- too hard to haul his carcass back to the road). Those 29" wheels completely change the way a bike feels -- it seemed like I was waaaaay too high. One time when I went to swing my leg over the saddle to get on the bike, I wound up hanging my leg up on the seat instead, putting me in a trapped, hopping, teetering dance with the bike. I'm not just the Fat Cyclist, I'm the goofy, clumsy cyclist.

And that wasn't the only thing that was different. He had Grip Shifters, which I haven't used since my first mountain bike. And Magura Marda disc brakes. Now, to this point, I've always been happy with my V-brakes: I can stop every time. But there was in fact something extraordinary about those disc brakes on Kenny's bike -- great modulation, super-light touch, very confidence-inspiring. "I might have to get me a pair of these," I thought.

Then he told me they cost $500. You know, my V-brakes are just fine.

The Actual Riding

While we were riding, I kept rotating through a bunch of different thoughts:

• It feels so great to be on a mountain bike again.
• Wow, I sure am tentative on the downhills. Is that because I'm not used to the bike, or am I really that rusty on a mountain bike?
• Hey, the group isn't riding away from me on the uphills. Is that because they're on singlespeeds, because I'm losing some weight and getting my climbing ability back, or are they just taking pity on me?
• Why am I so neurotic, asking myself all these dumb questions?
• Maybe I should stay in my middle ring for this ride, as a show of solidarity with the singlespeeds. (Looks at next climb.) Or, maybe not.

The Resolution

Jacob's Ladder is a great out-the-door ride; Dug's lucky to have it. Great singletrack, fun technical downhill, and a good climb. All with a killer view. It made me homesick for when I had "Frank" -- a 7-mile singletrack loop -- right out my front door, back when I lived in UT.

It's time I quit sticking to the roads here in WA. There's great mountain biking to be had. I've just got to go exploring.

Today's Weight: 176.2. Not much of a loss from Monday, but hey. I was travelling. Cut me a break, will you?

OK, I know why everyone's here today. Let's start off with the Fat Cyclist Sweepstakes Update.

Today's Weight: 176.4 -- a pound lighter than my goal of 177.4. Another $25 goes into the Fat Cyclist Sweepstakes kitty, but I'm only setting a goal of losing 2 lbs this week, since both my birthday and Father's Day happen this weekend. If I can net 2lbs loss this week, I'll be impressed with me.

Oh, so you mean I'll lose weight if I exercise and eat reasonably? Well, why didn't you say so? I tried something a little different this weekend -- instead of being "good" through the day and then going on a late night eating binge, I allowed myself to eat some of the things I like best -- chips, guacamole, etc. -- during the early part of the day, an hour or so before my big ride (figuring I'd be more likely to burn those extra calories off during a ride). I found that when evening came, I hadn't become resentful of the diet.

I went the whole weekend without a nighttime grazing session.

Yay, me.

The eagles are coming!

On the way to work today, I saw three different eagles -- one of them was a bald eagle, I'm pretty sure -- flying over and around Lake Sammamish. The sun was out, the trees were green, the breeze was nice, the rain from earlier in the morning made the world smell clean.

Life = good.

I'm in that really busy middle-aged stage of life right now. Career's in full gear. Kids are young and like lots of attention (soon enough they'll think I'm a total dork, so I try to appreciate that they like me right now). Not much time for myself. This is also the case for pretty much everyone I know.

So, mostly, I ride alone, making the commute my workout and getting in a longer ride on Saturday morning before the rest of the family gets moving. Catch as catch can.

Which makes rides like the one this morning extra fun. Nick, David, Ricardo and I did a road ride around Mercer Island. The weather wound up being beautiful, and the road around Mercer Island is always great. Rolling and very twisty, with just a few short steep pitches good for some King-of-the-Mountain points. The view -- water, trees, nice houses -- was great, and it was nice to just zoom along, chatting and biking at about 70% power.

Plus, it felt good to find that I could spank them on the climbs (I have no idea if they were trying to keep up whenever I jumped, but at least in my head, I'm wearing a polka-dot jersey today). My legs are coming back; I can climb again. Now I just need to get rid of my gut.

Bonus comedy: One of us -- I won't say who -- had some bad luck at an uphill start from a stop sign. This nameless person got clipped in, but then wasn't able to turn the crank over and fell over sideways -- right in front of a schoolbus that was just starting to roll. The bus stopped, waited for this unfortunate cyclist to drag himself off to the side of the road, and then pulled forward, opened the bus door and gave this cyclist a stern lecture. Shame on the cyclist for having the nerve to fall over! Shame! Shame! Sheesh.

Solo on the Road vs. Solo on the Mountain

Since moving out to WA, my mountain bike has collected dust, while I ride my road bike most every day. I'm not sure why, but it's just nowhere near as fun to ride the MTB solo. I talked with my friend Bob -- who used to live in WA and is moving back here next month -- and he had the same experience. Road biking alone every day = fine. Mountain biking alone every day = not so fine. Maybe that's just because it's too much of a reminder: Bob and I come from a group where MTB riding was very social. So MTB riding alone just underscores the fact that you're nowhere near your core group anymore.

Or the reason may be much simpler. Ie, I don't ride my mountain bike here because I have the absolute worst sense of direction in the world, and fear that if I go exploring trails here, I'll get lost and never be seen again.

Today's weight: D'oh! Getting up so early, I forgot to weigh myself, but I doubt I'm at that 177.4 I have as my goal. I guess we'll see on Monday whether I get to keep my $50.

Since my friend Dug Anderson convinced me to sell my sports car and buy a mountain bike about ten years ago, I have owned and sold 8 different bikes, some of them costing more than $5000. I've owned and discarded untold quantities of bike clothes -- in fact, I still have 4 dresser drawers full of bike clothes. I've tried numerous kinds of pedals (Ritcheys, Speedplays, Crank Bros, Time), lots of different racks, and all kinds of on-the-go food.

I have been, in short, a good little consumer.

Most of that stuff is either gone or in storage now. There are exceptions, though: Things that have lasted a long time, or have been so good and useful that I'm happy to replace them when they have worn out. Here are a few of those things.

• My Ibis Ti Road. Already mentioned this in a previous post, but to my eyes, this titanium beauty just keeps getting better and better. Someday maybe I'll replace the scratched decals, or maybe I won't. $4000 for this bike was a bargain.
• My Shimano Road Shoes. My road bike shoes actually pre-date my Ibis Ti Road bike -- I got them when I bought my first road bike, which means I've been using the same road bike shoes for 9 years. And it's not like I've been really kind to them or only worn them occasionally. And while the red mesh has faded to a rosy pink (not so manly), the shoes are still just fine. Comfortable, functional, durable.
• Specialized Armadillo Road Tires. Ask anyone who rides a road bike: you've got to pump up the tires pretty much every ride to keep them at >100psi, and you've got to plan on fairly frequent flats. But with the Armadillo tires, I'm not having to put air in the tires more often than once per week, and I haven't had a flat all season. I don't even swerve around glass anymore; I just ride through it, knowing that my tires aren't going to get punctured. The Armadillos definitely have their downside -- they have terrible road feel -- but I'm willing to put up with that.
• My Melanzana jersey. Matt Chester gave me a bunch of hand-me-down jerseys when he moved from Salida, including a pullover T-shirt style jersey made by Melanzana. I don't know why he gave it up (I think he got too skinny for it), but it's my favorite jersey ever. This year when I go to Leadville, I plan to bring some extra money for spending at the Melanzana store.
• RLX bib shorts. I don't like baggy shorts on a bike, and I don't like the way regular bike shorts bind around my waist (because I'm fat). I've done countless endurance rides in these bib shorts, and love the way RLX bib shorts keep my stomach from jiggling too much. From what I hear, RLX is defunct, so I'll have to look elsewhere next time I want to buy bib shorts.
• Oakley Racing Jackets. I wear prescription glasses for driving and biking. For years and years I couldn't find prescription glasses that worked for mountain biking and road biking. But these do. Get the frame from Oakley, discard the lenses they come with, and have your local Optometrist put in transition prescription lenses, in the lightest, most shatterproof material they've got. Voila, you've got biking glasses that adapt for the light conditions, don't fog, and are super-light. Also, incredibly expensive.
• Giro Atmos Helmet. This thing was stupid expensive, and I'm embarassed to have purchased it. That said, it's soooo light and comfortable. A few times I've reached up to check and make sure that I'm actually wearing a helmet.
• My Brian Head 100 Jerseys. During the summer, it looks like I wear the same jersey every day. That's because I have 4 identical "Brian Head 100" jerseys, which you get for completing the Brian Head 100. They're comfortable, they fit, and they're no uglier than any other bright-blue-and-orange jersey.
• My wedding ring. About 5 anniversaries ago, my wife surprised me with a plain titanium band as a replacement for my original wedding ring -- a polished white gold band with diamonds. "Now I know you better," she said. "This is more your style." You know what? The more this thing gets scratched and scuffed, the better it looks. A perfect present.

You know what's interesting? No electronic gadgets made my list. Considering how much I love my toys, that's a surprise.

Today's weight: 178.4

As of this morning, I've lost a third of the weight I'm hoping to shed by the time I race the Leadville 100 this August 13 (I started at 188.8, I want to get down to 158). So, what's changed in ten pounds?

• Reduced Squish Factor: My legs don't hit my stomach 'til about 3/4 of the way on my upstroke. That's a nice change. I figure by the time I get into the 160's I'll be done with the squish factor altogether, which I would think should improve my riding dramatically.
• I'm now in the awkward "between" stage, clothes-wise. I have three sets of clothes: my "thin" clothes, which I purchased back when I weighed < 160lbs; my "fat" clothes, which I purchased back when I weighed 160-170lbs, and my "steroids" clothes, which I purchased last December-January, when my weight went up to and beyond 180. (I'll explain the steroids tomorrow, but I promise you it's not about doping this time.) The "steroids" clothes are a little too baggy, but the "fat" clothes are a little too tight. The "thin" clothes remain safely in a box.
• Climbing improvement: I'm resorting to the granny gear less and less often in the two climbs I do as part of my daily commute.
• Pride over what used to be an embarassment: I find myself proud of the fact that I am now in the 170's, a fact which would have mortified me two years ago. I expect that once I get into the 160's, I'll be positively bursting with pleasure that I'm so light -- even though I'll still be unable to fit into my "thin" pants.

Today's Weight: 178.8

Next Up: Why the Fat Cyclist took steroids

I know, I know, you want to know whether you can have $25. First, though, you have to read my pithy anecdote of the day.

You know you're a Fat Cyclist when...

The last mile or so in my commute to work is always the hardest. It's a mile stretch of uphill on a bikepath, parallelling the 520 freeway (thanks, Redmond, for the bikepath!). Even if I see no cyclists on the rest of the commute, I always see at least a couple on this stretch -- either passing me, or me passing them. And I don't know about anyone else, but whenever I see someone up ahead on an uphill, I can't help but try to catch and pass. You can take the ability to compete out of the Fat Cyclist, but you can't take away his (um, my) competitiveness.

Anyway, today I started up the hill feeling pretty good. I shifted up a couple of gears, stood up, and started climbing at a good pace.

And that's when I saw my prey -- a very fit-looking cyclist, about 50 yards ahead, comfortably spinning a high cadence in a low gear. I put my head down and got ready to suffer. I dropped down one gear, sat down, and brought my cadence up as high as it would go. I knew from experience that this would hurt, but wanted to fly by this guy. He seemed to sense I was there and picked up the pace.

I went up a gear, ignored the pain, caught and passed this guy. I tried to sound casual, saying "How's it going?" as I dropped him.

I must admit, though, that my victory would have felt more substantial if he weren't riding a mountain bike and pulling a Burley trailer with a 2-year-old in it.

Clearly, I still have some work to do.

It's not just a blog, it's a game show.

So -- by the skin of my teeth -- I managed to keep my weight under my "backslide" number. I weighed in at 179.8 this morning. So now that $25 goes into the Fat Cyclist piggy bank, along with another $25 for next week's weigh-in. If, by then (6/13), my weight is >= 177.4 pounds (ie, if I haven't lost 2.5 pounds a week from now), the first person to call me out on it by posting a comment (including email address), gets a $50 amazon.com gift certificate. And if I magically hit next Monday's weigh-in goal, the prize goes up to $75. And so on.

Yes, that's right, my Monday weigh-in is now a weekly opportunity for you to have some of my fabulous, untold wealth. What other blog has this kind of drama and excitement?

Today's Weight: 179.8

Faithful "Fat Cyclist" readers will have noticed a pattern to my weight loss. Every week I lose a few pounds. Then, over the weekend I put those pounds on again.

Well, not this weekend.

I'm going to do my darndest to avoid backsliding. And here's my incentive:

If, on Monday, I weigh 180.0 pounds or more, I will give a $25 amazon.com gift certificate to the first person who calls me out on it.

All you've got to do is, on Monday, check my weigh-in on my blog. If it's >= 180, post a comment with your email address. I'll send you the gift certificate.

This will become a weekly contest.

If, of course, I weigh < 180 on Monday, well, I expect embarassingly supportive comments from every single one of you scoundrels hoping to make a quick buck off me.

Today's Weight: 179.0

I'm going to take a little walk down memory lane, but first, a couple quick observations from my ride to work today:

• Slugs and worms: Can there really be this many of them under the ground all the time? And after two solid days of rain, have they all come up to the surface and onto the road? I'm trying to dodge them -- really, I am -- but there are so many. And some of those slugs are big (not as big as the banana slugs you've got to dodge in Oregon, but still...).
• One day makes a difference: Having taken yesterday off, I felt incredibly good on today's ride in, so I took the long route. I noticed I was climbing in a higher gear than usual, too. And it wasn't to prove a point, either. Huzzah!
• I love my road bike: This month marks the 8 Year Anniversary for me and my Ibis Ti Road bike. Let's have a moment of silence for Ibis, which did some beautiful work in its heyday.

8 Years of the Leadville 100

Every year about this time, I start obsessing about the Leadville Trail 100, a 100-mile mountain bike race in Leadville, CO. I've done it eight years straight -- this August will be the ninth -- and it's stopped being so much a race as an annual tradition/ritual/vacation/family-and-friends-reunion. As the race gets closer, expect me to talk about this race more and more often. For now, here's a little context of how I've done at this race in the past eight attempts, and what I've learned:

• 1997 (Year 1): Finish Time: 10:35. I learned I could complete the race. I also learned that I am very susceptible to cheering crowds, even if I don't deserve the cheers. I fall in love with the race.
• 1998 (Year 2): Finish Time: 11:27. I learned that finishing with friends is cooler than finishing fast. My friend Dug Anderson waited for me at the last aid station, then convinced me to wait for Bob. Then Dug and Bob both waited for me after I did a massive endo on a fast downhill in the final 15 miles of the race. Finishing together -- slow, tired, and bleeding -- with Dug and Bob is one of the standout memories of my life.
• 1999 (Year 3): Finish Time: 9:13. I learned that if I train like a madman, lose a lot of weight, and then put everything I've got into this race, I can almost break the nine hour mark. But not quite.
• 2000 (Year 4): Finish Time: 9:17. I learned that ignoring threatening clouds may not be such a great idea. Lightning and torrential rain scared and froze those of us on Pole Line pass nearly to death. I had no rain jacket with me, having ignored my wife's suggestion to carry one at the final aid station.
• 2001 (Year 5): Finish Time: 9:30. I learned...um...I learned...well, whaddaya know. I can't remember anything at all from the race this year. It looks like I've started a slow-down trend, though, doesn't it?
• 2002 (Year 6): Finish Time: 10:20. I learned the "non-contributing weight" axiom of the Leadville 100: Every non-contributing pound you carry costs you five minutes. I was riding a full suspension bike, had gained some weight, and had not trained like I should. Also, I took a 20 minute nap at the final aid station. Refreshing!
• 2003 (Year 7): Finish Time: 9:20. I learned that one can drink only so much Gatorade. About 3/4 of the way through the race I got nauseous and started barfing anytime I tried to eat or drink anything. I blame the Gatorade, probably without reason. If I hadn't gotten sick toward the end of the race, this might've been the year I got that sub-9 I've wanted at Leadville forever.
• 2004 (Year 8): Finish Time: 10:56. I learned that just finishing can be a victory. This was while my life was pretty much completely insane and I had not trained at all. So last year I went to Leadville just to have fun and see my friends. And you know what? It was a great ride/race. I talked with a lot of people who -- like me -- just wanted to finish. The support and cameraderie at the back of the pack is much stronger than at the front. These racers are the heart of mountain biking.
• 2005 (Year 9): Finish Time: ???. What will I learn this year? I dunno, but I can hardly wait to go back to Leadville, my favorite town in the world to relax, ride my bike, and catch up with like-minded cyclists.

Today's Weight: 178.8

Next up: Tomorrow, I will reveal how you can win valuable prizes from the Fat Cyclist. No, I am not kidding.

Yesterday it was raining when I woke up. Raining hard. I was a tough guy, though -- I put on the tights, the rain jacket, the neoprene booties (so humiliating to admit to wearing booties) and rode my bike to work. I was soaked by the time I got to work, but that's not a big deal. Riding in the rain is kind of fun, once in a while.

It was still raining when it was time to go home. Still raining hard. Of course, all my bike clothes were still entirely soaked, but it's not like I had another option. I suited up into the stinky, muddy, cold, wet clothes and got on my bike.

I did not think happy thoughts on the way home.

This morning, it was still raining. Harder than yesterday. So I got in my car and drove to work. And you know what? I really liked it. Traffic wasn't bad; the stories on NPR were interesting. After having biked everywhere every day for a couple weeks, driving to work was a real treat.

If it's going to keep raining like this, though, I've got to start planning for it and biking anyways. Which means I'm going to need to carry a second set of bike clothes to work each day for the return trip, along with a plastic bag to hold the waterlogged ones from the morning.

I can tell: I'm going to need a bigger messenger bag.

Today's Weight: 181.2